Selam
Let me just say that re-reading my last post, I'm afraid I may sound a little too Pollyanna. Trust me folks, this is hard sometimes. Often-times it's wonderful. But sometimes, it's tough.
Abigia has been having a rough couple of days. Clingy, crying easily (EASILY).....It's really hard to tell what behaviors are age related versus grieving/adjustment stuff. That, in turn, makes it hard sometimes to know how to handle it. For example, throwing a fit for not getting the toy she wants...... the experts would say, in general, to ignore the tantrum so the child learns that this is not an effective way of getting what she wants. However, in a child new to the family/culture/language/etc leaving them to cry can lead to deeper anxieties or feelings of abandonment being reinforced. That's not to say that in newly adopted kids we should give them everything and let them do anything... the situation just has to be handled differently. Sometimes it's tough to figure out what is the best way.
I still think we're doing great. The kids should be grieving. They should be testing the waters. This is all normal stuff. Some days it's just easier to deal with than others.
I'm not writing to complain... We've been really blessed in our children and I think things have been going great so far. I just want to be honest so others reading this that may be having the same troubles don't think they are alone.
I'll tell you, though, I am having some serious feelings lately of 'holy crap!' in regards to the responsibility of having kids. I've been reading some serious stuff lately about transracial families, how to teach kids about race, helping adopted kids form positive identity and self-esteem. None of this is new, nothing I hadn't already read or thought about...... it's just a little overwhelming sometimes. I've also been thinking a lot about sending the kids to school next year, what do I need to do to get them ready and what do I need to talk to the teachers and principal about regarding adoption. I think these thoughts are hitting me harder now that we have older kids. The bigger issues are more rapidly approaching and I want to make sure we're prepared to handle things the best we possibly can.
Undoubtedly these thoughts/issues will rise and fall in intensity in my mind for the rest of our lives. They should; that's part of our family. I just want to do a good job.
I should have started this Dear Diary.... open page, start typing........
Anyway, let me find some good pictures for those of you that stuck around this long (or skipped to the bottom for the good stuff).
I found these 2 sitting like this, crammed into this little space, on the front porch the other day
Up/down shot for perspective on the tiny-ness of the space they are in
And, then the fighting began.....
This is Eldana playing with 2 babies she's named 'Jesus' and 'Mary.' The other day she brought them to me had them both give me a blessing. Then she lifted them up to her face like a good Mom would and said 'Good job! Good job Mary! Good job Jesus!'I
Dancing...
If you notice in some of our pictures, Eldana tries to match her outfit to Eliana's every day. Today? Pink/pink!
Look at these faces!
This shot is for any of you that might be missing Eliana's mohawk from the old days. She's been sporting this look for 3 days now.
This is blurry, but I had to post it anyway. That little face is so sweet!And she let me do her hair yesterday. I Love the
little ponytails!
posted by Jenny and Matt @ 5:35 PM
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