Busy?

First of all.. thanks to everyone who responded to the last post about adoption parenting.It's really valuable to me to hear how others are doing and to have someone (many someones) to talk to about stuff. Seems like others enjoyed it, too.
I haven't had time to post the past few days.... but I'm not sure why. We've been a little busy, I guess.
Yesterday we finally went to Matt's workplace for the first time since Eliana has been home so that she could meet some of Matt's co-workers. And we had a little hug-n-snack with our cousin Jodi. This all took place 1 hour and 15 minuted from home, after I had worked. So that shot Monday. I don't know what I did with myself over the weekend, but feel like I had no free time.
Ok, that's a lie. I distinctly remember lounging on the couch watching a horrible movie that was a complete waste of time. I must have been terribly ill, though - it was impossible for me to get up off of the couch or change the channel. Hm.
Anyway, how 'bout this nice weather we've been having? After work today we went for a little walk, went to dinner and went to Target. Highlight: duck at the park that looked like he was wearing a toupee.
Sorry, did not have my camera.
Speaking of which, no new pics today. Soon, my friends, soon. Tomorrow, I will take new pictures so you can see Eliana's rockstar hair that continues to grow STRAIGHT UP and OUT and, you can see how big she's getting now that she weighs 13 pounds and 2 ounces. She gained a half a pound in the last week!

Attachment Parenting

For those that are unfamiliar, attachment parenting is a method/idea/way of interacting with your child that is meant to promote a strong healthy bond bwteen a child and her parent(s). Our social worker talked to us a lot about this during our homestudy, we had to read a book about it for our placement agency (and take a test!), and I have since read a lot of other articles and a few books on this concept. I am not, by any means, an expert on the topic. I've just been trying to learn what I can and apply it to our lives!
Although biological parent/child relationships can have attachment problems, it is much more of an issue with adopted children. These children have suffered great losses, experienced great change in every aspect of life, and are trying to make sense of the world. As parents, it is our job to help them develop a sense of security. Helping a child evelop a strong sense of security at a young age is critical to their social, psychological and emotional development from now until forever!
I think people practice the attachment techniques to varying degrees. Some families don't let anyone else hold the new child for a year, co-sleep every night, and perform all aspects of care for the child. Some families don't do anything different with their adopted child than they would with a biological child.
I'm just curious as to how others are approaching this attachment issue. I was surprised to find that not everyone had studied about this. I met adopting parents in Guatemala talking about letting their young child 'cry it out,' or chastising their 8 month old for being 'lazy' for not holding his own bottle. According to the concepts of 'attachment parenting,' neither of these behaviors will help promote security and trust. I don't mean this discussion to criticize other parents, I've just been thinking a lot lately about what is right for us on this matter.
Here's what we've been doing:
- For the first 6 weeks only Matt or I changed diapers, fed her, put her to sleep, gave baths, etc.
Now, we are back to work and have to have a little help from friends and family for childcare. We try to limit this time as much as possible so that we are the ones doing the large majority of the care.
- We are lucky enough to have work schedules that allow oe of us to be with the baby most of the time. We only need childcare help 1 day (1 1/2 at the most) each week.
- We try to spend a lot of face to face and play time with the baby.
- I wear her (in a wrap) almost anytime we go out, and sometimes around the house as I do housework.
- We don't let her cry. As soon as she lets us know she is uncomfortable or unhappy, we soothe her and fix the problem. No 'crying it out' at this time.
- We try to stick to a regular routine. Even if we're out and about, naps and feedings are pretty consistent. We try to schedule things around naps. Nap/bedtime has a set routine each time.


We tried co-sleeping for 1 night - it didn't seem to work for us for a variety of reasons. And, she has been sleeping well in a crib since she came home. Although I understand the benefits of co-sleeping, we felt we were doing enough through the day that we could keep the nighttime routine ending in the crib.
A lot of friends and family have held this baby! We have such great support - everyone was dying to get to meet this girl. We do limit the time that others' hold her, and we always take her back immediately if she becomes fussy or seems uncomfortable.
I think things are going well. Eliana does great with her routine. She definitely knows us and loves to play with and be held by us. She seems to be more relaxed and comfortable every week.
I'm not sure why this has been on my mind so much lately. We're not having any problems, I'm not seeking advice on any particular anything. I guess I'm just worrying, as parents do, about whether what we're doing is enough. I'm not looking for reassurances, either. As I said, things seem to be going well. I'd just like to hear from some other adoptive and adopting parents on what they are doing/planning to do on this topic.
It's been a little frustrating to me lately that most non-adoptive parents don't understand the concept of attachment parenting. Why would they? It's one of those things that you wouldn't learn about unless it was affecting you. For me, though, this is something we will always be dealing with internally... and maybe externally by our behavior.... as we work to help our children feel secure and trusting of a family's love.

So.... what about you and your family?

Return to napping...

Our napping is going better. Well, Eliana's napping is. My napping seriously suffering now that I'm back to work. I am resolved to the fact that she is a 4 naps/day gal. They are lasting about 45 minutes each, so she is getting more rest and, I think, feeling better. She stays up later at night, now, too (8pm). Evening crankiness: much less than it was.

I wouldn't necessarily have posted a messy-faced food pic, but
the look on her face here is cracking me up.

Matt took 11 pictures of the E and I and she closed her eyes in all but that one above. Silly baby.

This is Eliana in her new hat. Our friend Abby brought it from Peru. THANKS ABBY!
Hope Abby doesn't mind me posting her picture on the blog. Hope I haven't just outed her from the Witness Protection Program.

OK, a discussion topic for the adoptive parents:
How many of you practice attachment parenting and to what degree?
Matt and I read up a lot on attachment parenting before Eliana came home and continue to learn about it. We don't do EVERYTHING recommended, but think we have found a good fit for us that seems to be working well for the baby. I keep coming in contact with AP's who don't really do any sort of attachment building stuff, and I'm kind of surprised. What is your take on this?


One more thing:
There are a few people I know of that are having a serious problem that is stalling the adoption process of their children-to-be. They are trying to find other people in the same situation so that they can work together to find a solution. I post this message on their behalf:

Missing Guatemala City Signature: Searching Out Others


However, there is something you can do to help if you so wish. If you are ADOPTING FROM GUATEMALA and you are with an agency or facilitator that is not HAPS or For This Child, PLEASE EMAIL THE FOLLOWING LETTER TO YOUR AGENCY. If you are NOT ADOPTING but you have a blog, please POST THIS REQUEST ON YOUR BLOG.

*************************

Dear [agency-name],
If your agency has a case in process that contains a Guatemala City cedula or birth-certificate that is missing the Civil Registry signature (usually the mayor's signature), we have important information to share.

According to PGN, if your case has not yet received a previo for the missing signature, it will. The letter from the Civil Registry and/or the Mayor of Guatemala City is no longer sufficient to satisfy the previo. The four PGN assessors have made a joint decision that these unsigned documents MUST be signed. However, at this time there is NO ONE in Guatemala City with the authority to sign these documents!

We are Cheri xxxxxx and Erin xxxxxx, in the process of adopting Guatemalan babies through For This Child and HAPS, respectively. After many months working on this issue separately, our agencies are now collaborating to find a solution. They have discussed this with the PGN reviewers, Barrios, and the Mayor of GC directly. The conclusion is that the mayor does NOT have the authority to sign a document issued under another mayor's tenure. Therefore, we must file an acta with a different branch of PGN that will require the Civil Registry of GC to 1) designate and authorize a person to sign these documents, and 2) order that person to do so.

The PGN reviewer on Erin's case currently has 12 cases that have been kicked out for this reason. If all 8 reviewers have a similar number of cases, that means 80-100 cases are in this same predicament! We have been advised to find as many of these other cases as possible so that we can ALL file the acta together. We have strength in numbers.

If you have, or know of, a case that contains a Guatemala City cedula or birth-certificate that is missing the Civil Registry signature, please contact:

Karla Ordonez, with HAPS: cell 5555-3610, office 2332-9040
Traci Orr, with For This Child: US #214-370-8436, traci@forthischild.org

Thank you for your time,
Cheri and Erin

My big fat baby....

weighs 12.8 pounds!!
We went to the doctor yesterday and he was really pleased with how she is growing and developing. Hooray! So are we!

Oh Brother!

My brother, Patrick, left this morning.
He moved to Charleston, SC.
We miss him already.
Good luck Uncle Pat!!

Eliana LOVES her Uncle Pat.

Mostly because he makes faces like this.

And dances like this.

Eliana's first day at the sitter's

and we all survived!
I was feeling a little sad as I left her there, even though it was only for a few hours. Our 'sitter' is actually a good friend of ours, Amanda, who has a 13 month old girl. I'll steal a picture from her blog:

This is Penelope, sure to be Eliana's best pal

Amanda said Eliana did really well today. We really trust Amanda and know that she will be great with Eliana. It made it a lot easier for me to leave her there, knowing she was in good hands.

Playing with Grandma

Television on = baby zoned out

So, as far as napping goes, we are just trying for consistency, now. She goes to sleep pretty well at night so we're using that same technique (soft music, rocking, same room) for daytime naps, too. I'm thinking that if we regularly do that and tighten up the schedule a little that her napping will improve ..... and by 'improve' I really mean 'lengthen' so that this Momma can get something done around the house!

Hola!

I am the worst blogger. About once a month I vow to blog more faithfully.

And then a week goes by before I blog again.
It is amazing how the time goes so quickly when all you want to do is play and snuggle with your baby. Who can blame me? Look at this girl:

I LOVE THIS FACE!!!

Chillin' in the Bumbo
If you look closely you might be able to see that I combed her hair this day! It won't stay long before it springs back into the craziness that we are used to on her head. It's long enough to comb... it just won't stay put. She seems to prefer the finger-in-light-socket look.
I have to admit that her hair combed over to the side was so silly looking to me that I laughed out loud every time I looked at it. That's good for self-esteem, you know - hysterical laughing every time the mother looks at the child. Oh Eliana... the fun you have to look forward to!
When the television is on this girl zones out

So, I've been having a lot of questions lately about typical baby stuff and thought this would be a good place to seek advice from my smarter-than-me imaginary blog friends.
Topic of the night: Sleep. Naptime sleep, in particular.
How well do your kids nap?
Eliana is 9 months old, and developmentally I'd say 6-7 months. She is not really a great napper. She will fall asleep in our arms, usually after a bottle, but only sleep for 15-30 minutes if we lay her down. If we hold her while she naps she will sleep 1 1/2 hours - but we can't always do that (there is laundry to be done, you know). She tends to get pretty cranky as bedtime approaches, and I think she could be happier through the evening if she had a good nap each day instead of just the little catnaps. Any ideas? What works for your kids at naptime?

Survivor

Well, 2 days down. Looks like I'll make it.
Ok, so they were 1/2 days.
And I was a little emotional by the end of the day.
But, all in all, I did pretty well.
Eliana: doesn't care that I'm gone, of course. Who wouldn't want to stay home with Dad? Today they went on a little outing to the mall to buy me the newly re-released Peter Pan movie. Hooray!

Thank God our dog is so tolerant.

Lazy Sunday

Eliana with Nin.

Nin bought this dress 15 years ago when she was first hoping for a granddaughter.
It's a good thing Eliana wore it for her this week - it's almost too small!

Watching TV with her Dad.


OK. The camera is fixed. It's amazing what new batteries will do for you!
We're having another pajama day here.
Matt and I don't feel really well and we've all been doing a lot of napping today.
It's a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon now and then.

I start back to work tomorrow. Ugh.

Apologies to blog pals

Blogger won't let me comment!
There are tons of great pictures, exciting news, and people down in the dumps that I'm sure are dying for my words of wisdom but I cannot comment. Argh.